The infamous… “tu no sabes”

They are many phrases in Spanish that are difficult to translate in English because they literally don’t mean the same things, even if you’re using the correct set of words.

Probably people may wonder why I don’t write in Spanish, basically because nothing flows good enough to jot it down.  It’s a shame, I can’t convey what I want to say in my native language. However, I love my language’s sayings.

via Google Images

There are dozens of them, and each one has its own meaning.  Better said, depending on what you want to make out of them.  They can mean different things to anyone that says or reads them.

My parents would talk Spanish at home because they actually had a language acquisition theory (who would’ve known) that leaded them to believe that my brother and I would learn English at school.  No kidding?

They were right, at least with me.  My brother doesn’t care much about the language, he speaks it and forget about writing it (or so I think).  Sorry Tom, if I’m saying this and I’m wrong.

Now that being said, I will route myself towards my folklore.   One of my favorite sayings is, “tu no sabes”.  Which literally means in English, “you don’t know”.  So, what does it really mean?

It’s more like a “you don’t have an idea” kind of thing.

via google images

When we’re talking with someone and happen to ask a question, they can tell us,   “tu no sabes”, hold your horses because here it comes!  Its like going behind the curtains during a play.  You are about to get all the inside info of what’s happening, or you may be blessed with sharing a story that is only intended for you.

“Tu no sabes” means you really don’t know the personal circumstances of the person you are talking to.

During our lives there are many things we prefer to keep quiet about.  Things we don’t dare even to think about, forget about talking about.  To all that ever have said, “tu no sabes” my standing ovation goes to you.

Some time ago,  one of my cousins shared a post on FB where she explained to her friends that she suffered a very painful medical condition and that’s why she was so health oriented.  She wanted people to understand!  She could have begun her post with , “ustedes (in plural) no saben.”.

Almost twenty years ago, I went to service on a Sunday morning with my family.  During that time, Carlos was on a waiting list to get a liver transplant and money was always running low in my home.  Basically I went to church trying to figure out a couple of financial problems I was facing.  When I was leaving towards the parking, a deacon called me and told me to come back.  She handed me an envelope with a check for $115.

I began my sentence with “Tu no sabes”, she really didn’t know!  She didn’t have an idea that the money she was handing me was a life saver that week.  It put food on our table and was a beautiful blessing.

Which leads me to the only conclusion possible…………..

Always remember my dear friend,  that everyone has a very private life that he or she may choose or not to share because it is true that “tu no sabes”,  we really don’t know everything about a person and never will.

Have you tried to give your thoughts a voice?

All of us lead double lives!

Whaaaaaat?  That’s you who just said that looong “WHAT”  by the way.  Don’t click yourself away, well not until at least,  I’ve explained myself.

When we listen to the phrase “double life” the first thing that comes to our head, or at least to mine, is cheating.

Well, I’m not going to write about cheating in the “meaningful other” type of relationship, but in our own inner double lives.  All of us have voices inside our heads that represent our true self.  For instance, hasn’t it happened to you that you bump into an acquaintance, and you say all the right things, but inside you’re thinking probably the opposite of what you’re saying.

The sad part is that the same thing can happen not only to someone you may know, but with your own family or significant other.

If you come to think about it cheating as in a relationship isn’t as hard as you would believe.

Usually as parents of adult children, we say something and we think something completely different.  Probably it’s because our opinions or advice are not welcomed or asked for.  In my case, I tell my own children whatever is on my mind, even if they don’t like it too much.  My husband always wants to play it on the safe side and will be much more diplomatic.  I do respect them an awful lot, but I will voice my opinion if they raise a subject I’m concerned about.  To be honest, if they don’t raise the subject in a conversation, I’ll be more than happy to  bring it to the table.

Even though, now a days I would say I’m a wee more careful on how I say things.

That’s only one aspect of keeping our thoughts to ourselves.

What happens when those thoughts involve something that is basically wrong?

How hard is it to become the persons we are inside without fears or compromising who we are?

In today’s world I would say its darn hard!

We try to play the part of politically correct all the time and lose something along the way.  Being honest doesn’t take you places, however saying what others want, will.  You need to be careful in your job (specially with your boss), with your friends (if you say or do something wrong or very wrong you’ll end up losing), with your partner, spouse, significant other or what you want to call it (remember you live with them), with your neighbors, your relatives, etc., etc.

It is tricky!  Remember the motto, “survival of the fittest”.

As I write this post, my thoughts go back to this special woman from Kansas, her name was Helen E. Baker, she came to Puerto Rico specifically to this little corner of the west side of the Island, during the 60’s, she came  way up in the mountain and taught the people here many things.

One of the things that many of us have forgotten is the way she would raise her hand in the middle of any meeting, service or any other thing in fact,  to raise her voice when she thought something was wrong.

I still recall her hand straight and still until whoever was leading the meeting gave her an opportunity to talk.  Her exact words in Spanish (a language she barely spoke) would always be, “No, no, no, eso no es asi.”. Which is no, it’s not like you’re saying it, and she would go on to explain why?

She passed away during my early twenties, and I’m almost hitting my 5th decade (I get a kick on how that sounds), so she would have had a hard time living among us now a days.

I need to go back to what this amazing woman taught me through example, and not hesitate to raise my hand and voice, to simple say, “NO, I don’t agree with you.”

The catch is my dear friend, that I need to learn to listen completely to who ever is talking before I give my thoughts a voice.

What about you, are you willing to raise your hand? You will be pleasantly surprised on how well it makes you feel!