Coming Home

Dear readers, time and time again I always come back to the same place.  Some think that life in its own funny way always makes you go round in circles.  However, its just probably us.  Our now and yesterday just intertwine pressing the play and replay many times.

Maybe that’s why many believe that we live over and over again in different time periods during the infinite life of our spirit.

For instance, I love cats.  What I like the most of them is their unbothered way of life.  They just go about doing their own thing.  However, my point is that during my life I’ve always had a cat, as a child I recall having a white Siamese cat, Mom told me recently that she wasn’t white, but black, probably she’s confused with my other cat, Miss Me-aw.  I had a hard time after she passed, so it took me a while to let another cat into my life.  My son convinced me of adopting a kitten and four years down the road, Jinx  lives happily (or I would think) with us in our home.


But hey this isn’t about cats!!! So let’s move on.

Isn’t it quite funny how things just happen to us so many times, the SAME things.

So, why wouldn’t it be different with my blog.  When I first started writing I was invested in it.  My blog was a way I would write myself through my difficulties, but than I just lost the thirst for writing.

It transitioned from reacting to Sunday’s sermon, to a place where I began growing as a person.  It was an eye opener to what was going on in a world that I had never bothered to look at closely.  Injustice rang loud and clear as I witnessed devastation created by those with power.  I began to question what I had thought was my faith.

I saw Christianity with new eyes.

I saw Buddhism with new eyes.

I began reading books about how to live a mindful life.

My spiritual exploration had been set in place and all these years down the road it’s still is.

Believing is a place where that exploration takes  place and I think I’m over with people who put you down spiritually.   It’s time to come back home and just write about the ups and down of life and faith.

My fingers are eager to type away my thoughts and experiences of a new path I’ve discovered.  A path where my spirit rests knowing that each and every day I try to not fall into practices that do  not contribute to my growth or those who I encounter with each day.

Because at the end of the day, we all want to feel the comfort of being in peace with ourselves  and the world, we all want to come home.

See you around and thanks for stopping by.  Hasta pronto!


Dealing With the Rapids of Life

Most of the time hearing things we don’t want to deal with is difficult and challenging.

People react in different ways and to tell you the truth in ways that sometimes leave us dumb folded because it’s not what we expected or simply want to hear.

Sometimes if what is being said is too hard to take in, we usually have to ask the person we are talking with to repeat it because for a split second we may not even be able to fully comprehend what is being said.

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Probably everyone passes through the same stages of denial, frustration and even anger for about everything related with something we just can’t control. Then, after all the fuss we turn towards what we can’t fully explain, but if you’re like me (a believer) is a part of us, FAITH.

Faith can be many things, for all us it may even have a different meaning.

Nevertheless, it’s something we bring out when everything else seems to have failed.

It definitely  can get us through the rapids of life.

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Faith is like our raft, it’s going to take us through the rushing waters to a place where the river becomes calm and peaceful.

Dealing with cancer in something like that.

When you receive good news its easy to hold on to your faith, however,  when you face terrible ones it becomes elusive as it plays hide and seek with us.

Our faith has many faces and becomes whatever we need in the moment of our need.  None the less, believing that things will get better is sometimes the only thing we have left.

Some would say that all of this is bolony, that life is what it is and that’s that. But, how do you deal with our emotional being that suffers and desperately cries for solutions that our logic tells us that they don’t exist.  You can go mad just by trying!

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However, using your faith to get through what ever it is you need to get through doesn’t mean you don’t have to accept the specific circumstances of your predicament, it only means that it’s going to help you get through them without destroying yourself through the process.

Life certainly is a mystery.

We can’t control most of the things that happen to us, but we surely can control our choices in what to believe in.

I’m not saying that you should find your closest church and visit it today, but to find the essence of your person and reach in to what you believe in. Then, if you want and if you need the comfort others can offer you that also believe in a greater God “go for it”.

This doesn’t work for everyone!

For some just reaching in and finding peace with yourself and with life is enough surrounded by those who love you unconditionally.

Whatever works for you is fine. It’s all about getting through the tough times and just waiting for the moment are waters are peaceful once again.  My grandmother would always say “no hay mal que dure cien a~os ni pellejo que lo resista.”  Which means tough times will never last a lifetime basically because we are not capable of enduring that amount of hardship.

Things eventually will get better. It’s just a matter of waiting for it to happen.


Voices of Faith

Being a mom has its moments!

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The best part of them are when you are comforted by your grown up children and receive words that make you feel in peace with yourself and the world that surrounds you.

Today my son (which turns 21 this next October), told me “Mom, you’re a woman of faith.  Everything will be fine.”.  He reminded me of something I’ve forgotten.  Faith has always played a huge part of who I am and today I realized that I’ve neglected it to an obscure little corner of my life.

I’ve taught all my children the joys of living through things you believe in.

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Not all of them share my view of God, or the world in fact.  Yet, they recognize through their words that faith has been my dear companion through the harsh realities of my childhood and the troubles and joys of my adult life.

When did I begin losing my faith?  Is that even possible?

Today I faced the reality that my faith nor has been lost nor diminished.  Faith is a gift that lives inside you until the very day we die.

I am a women of faith.

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My dear son just reminded me of all the wonderful things faith has done to my life.  Just to mention a few, it helped me endure a VERY dysfunctional upbringing, it kept me company while I waited patiently for my husband’s liver transplant, it comforted me when I faced the uncertainly of becoming a very young widow with two toddlers and an infant to care for, it carried me through endless nights caring for a very ill spouse, it supported me through my own boy’s struggle with Celiac disease, and it has been constantly carrying me through my illness.

Without my strong faith I wouldn’t have been able to pull it off.

Instead of my beautiful faith I would have drowned into a severe depression.

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I can happily say that today I have found my way through the eyes of my dear son.

My faith in believing that things will get better and that  there is a dear Shepard that stands right next to me when things go wrong and jumps in joy when my circumstances are better.

Thank you Lord, for always being there for me and my family.  Not only my husband and children, but for my brother and parents.

Life indeed is a mystery, but it’s darn well worth living it!  We are what we believe in and I’ve always believed in the good of life and its endless opportunities of learning from our mistakes.

Probably the best part of it all is that it has absolutely nothing to do with religion!!!  So, how much better can it get?


What do you believe in?

When we face life related issues we usually opt for believing in something, ANYTHING in fact.  We plead, pray, shout or simply whisper to who ever is out there.

During our lifetime we face different beliefs and religions and chose one.

Yet,  are we walking through our own chosen pathway, or is it one someone else chose for us?

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If you saw The Life of Pi,  you probably heard that Pi called out to God, Shiva, and many other deities.  I would think he covered them all.  He was desperate, his life was coming to an end.  He faced his fears and moved on.  Probably, that’s one of the things that I liked best about the movie.

The sea was forgiving sometimes and brutal the next.  That’s how life is, forgiving when we are able to live through happy moments and brutal when we face difficulties and tragedies as well.

What do we believe in any way?

It’s funny though how some of us are crazy using our beliefs against anything or anyone that isn’t like us.

We stand firmly behind them and charge like savage bulls against homosexuals, homeless, drug addicts, our lousy neighbors, our relatives, and any other person who doesn’t share our view on religion or life itself.

In this specific element, we are very sure in what we believe in?

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Do you really think that whatever deity you have chosen to believe in cares if you talk to others when the service is over?

That’s another thing, the nonsense of rituals.

Our beliefs are not set in stone, we change them often as we go through life.  If you do believe in a single all mighty God, do you really think He cares that you talk a bit in the building where people unite to adore him?  Probably I’ll guess He’s more concerned about our morals or ethics in life.

What do you believe in?

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Today is Sunday, a great day to go outside and take a look at what surrounds us and just marvel on the fact that whatever it is we believe in or whoever it is, life is a darn marvelous thing.

Nature is one of our major gifts and we should do everything and anything we can to cherish and preserve it because it’s a gift bestowed on humanity.

No matter our rituals or in how few or  many gods we believe in, not taking care of this marvelous blue ball we call Earth will be our major and most unforgivable sin ever.

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Don’t you believe?

Faith · Uncategorized

The Burden of Burned Hands

How do you glue a vase that has broken in a thousand pieces? Is it possible?

I would say no, to both questions, but you can give it a try none the less.

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That’s how our faith in life and in others look like when our experiences shatter it profoundly and irreversibly. I’ve always known along the way that you shouldn’t put your hands over fire for anyone or anything because the recovery is slow and painful.

At the same time, we can’t become judges of other people’s actions, because if we do we’re not much better than they are.  To tell you the truth I don’t think nobody is better or above anyone.  We all share the same standard of humanity.

Who can say that they have never done something they will always regret?

After reflecting and taking a hard look from inside out, I’ve come to terms with who I am today at least spirituality speaking.  When I began blogging at the beginning of the year over at blogger, it was precisely because of how distant I’ve had become with a life long commitment to church and God  (I’m still referring to the big Guy with a capital letter).

I’m no longer that same devote woman, nevertheless, I’ve become more tuned than ever with my spirituality and the people and world (nature with all its components) that surround me.  I appreciate my family (my husband, children, parents and brother) more than ever and are grateful for having them in my life.

No longer do I want to hold on to my daughter or sons, because that’s not how it’s suppose to work.  They need to move on and I need to let them go wherever they want to.

People are who they are, and it’s not up to me or anyone else to pass judgement over them.

I’m not saying that our experiences leave us dented and scarred, but we have to look at them  as part of who be become. In other words, they become a blessing for us because they make us more stronger and tougher.  It’s like when gold is tested through fire.  It’s purity surfaces and that’s how it exactly it works for us as well.

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I could revert to draft my ramble about how I think that many of us are frauds because I am also one, but I won’t.  I’ll leave it just where it is.  It will be my reminder on how I can’t let the actions taken by others define who I am or what I believe in.

I’m not a fraud and I’m will certainly not let others make me feel one!

Let each one of us carry our own mistakes and errors of judgment because at the end of the day everyone has to live with their own remorse.  It’s enough with the ones I carry without adding anything more to it.

Probably next Sunday I’ll be sitting in the pew I’ve been using for the past 26+ years or more.  Listening and going along  with whatever is said and done, but deep inside every word or action will be questioned and filtered through eyes wide open.  No longer will my faith be veiled through innocence and candor.

Nevertheless, I’ll just stay put because I’m more than sure some total stranger like, Lisa Fenn will restore my faith in the good of people.  She  helped two inner city Cleveland boys accomplish their dreams and stayed with them when nobody expected her to. She gave them uncommitted  pure love,  forming a bond so strong that is would  heal their troubled lives and bring joy and peace to her along the way.  She got nothing out of it.  You can read their amazing story, clicking on this link,

Life is only but a minute in eternity, what are you willing to do with your minute?