Voices of Faith

Being a mom has its moments!

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The best part of them are when you are comforted by your grown up children and receive words that make you feel in peace with yourself and the world that surrounds you.

Today my son (which turns 21 this next October), told me “Mom, you’re a woman of faith.  Everything will be fine.”.  He reminded me of something I’ve forgotten.  Faith has always played a huge part of who I am and today I realized that I’ve neglected it to an obscure little corner of my life.

I’ve taught all my children the joys of living through things you believe in.

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Not all of them share my view of God, or the world in fact.  Yet, they recognize through their words that faith has been my dear companion through the harsh realities of my childhood and the troubles and joys of my adult life.

When did I begin losing my faith?  Is that even possible?

Today I faced the reality that my faith nor has been lost nor diminished.  Faith is a gift that lives inside you until the very day we die.

I am a women of faith.

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My dear son just reminded me of all the wonderful things faith has done to my life.  Just to mention a few, it helped me endure a VERY dysfunctional upbringing, it kept me company while I waited patiently for my husband’s liver transplant, it comforted me when I faced the uncertainly of becoming a very young widow with two toddlers and an infant to care for, it carried me through endless nights caring for a very ill spouse, it supported me through my own boy’s struggle with Celiac disease, and it has been constantly carrying me through my illness.

Without my strong faith I wouldn’t have been able to pull it off.

Instead of my beautiful faith I would have drowned into a severe depression.

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I can happily say that today I have found my way through the eyes of my dear son.

My faith in believing that things will get better and that  there is a dear Shepard that stands right next to me when things go wrong and jumps in joy when my circumstances are better.

Thank you Lord, for always being there for me and my family.  Not only my husband and children, but for my brother and parents.

Life indeed is a mystery, but it’s darn well worth living it!  We are what we believe in and I’ve always believed in the good of life and its endless opportunities of learning from our mistakes.

Probably the best part of it all is that it has absolutely nothing to do with religion!!!  So, how much better can it get?


The Shivers of Alzheimer

Lately I’ve begun noticing that I need to repeat things to my mom more than once.  It’s either one of two, she’s not paying attention, or she simply forgets things.

My mom probably concerns me because Alzheimer runs pretty strong in my family.

Witnessing how my grandmother lost herself in this disease simply broke my heart.  I knew deep inside that the person who laid on that bed for more than five years wasn’t her.  She had left a long time ago.  Just thinking that my mom can become a prisoner of her mind makes me nauseated and sends shivers through out my entire body.

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Yet, nothing I can think or say will prevent this from happening if it is to happen. But, I sure will try to do damage control.

The most I can do is stay put and help her as time leaves its footsteps along the way.

Mom certainly wouldn’t shape up to Ben Franklin’s quote when he said, “…..some die at 25, but are buried at 90.”, or something like that.   Sorry, Ben if I got it wrong!  I’ll need to hire a facts checker if I get famous blogging along the way.

She’s lived her almost 72 years intensely.  Hasn’t wasted a minute pondering, just taken life heads on, like one of those rouged men from the series Mountain Men.

Today, as I searched her room for some money she had lost,  my memory took me back to my grandmother’s house as she searched for the same thing I was looking for today.

My treasure hunt finished when I found the money rolled like a cigarette inside a hair curler.

My heart went heavy,  as I came to the conclusion, that are next stop will be an appointment with a neurologist.  I can’t continue to hide my head in the ground as an ostrich.

I just need to face all this as my mom has faced her life, heads on!