Life

Eyes Wide “SHUT” to our Turning Points

Much has been said about the “turning points” in our lives.  Events that come around us because of something that has happened or someone we have met.

When you think about them, it’s like trying to walk through a maze.

How do we recognize our so-called “turning points”?

Believing Turning Point

The other day as I cruised around channels on my television, I came across J Lo’s so-called story and the people they were interviewing kept on talking about her “turning points”.  Supposedly she had been able to contact Tony Mottola because of the Selena movie, and because of knowing Tony she got to know Marc Anthony, and then was related to Puff Daddy and because of that she got to know Benny Medina….and so and so and so,  the rest is history.  This Puerto Rican girl became a super star, despite what her mama thought.  NO kidding?

Bottom line, all those moments in her life were very important because if none of the above had happened as it did, she wouldn’t be who she is today.  Get the idea here?????

Probably her mom would have made her stay in school, and today she would be a music teacher or something like that, still living in the Bronx and teaching at a nearby school just like her mama.

A pretty familiar picture, if you ask me!!!!

Which makes you think, do these so-called “turning points” really exist?  Or are they simply opportunities that rise for being in the right spot at the right time?

After giving it some thought, I came to the conclusion that our turning points are sometimes to difficult to recognize,  and we don’t want to get out of our comfort zones to face them.  They become a challenges because we have to change our ways, and that’s something almost none of us are willing to do.

Being a History-English major I would often day-dream about the lives of people who lived way before me.  My text books would give me some details about them and I would complete the equation using my over active imagination.

For instance, I’ve thought many times about what possibly would go on Emily Dickinson’s head when she was able to write such beautiful poetry without ever going out and wondering into nature.  Her poems were filled of vivid imagery that  would make you think that the author had experienced it first hand.

What about people who marked the world, making a difference?  What were their turning points?

Some of their stories are told in books, but others remain buried with them forever.

Believing Turning Point 2

The beauty of this is that all of us have and will continue to face “turning points”,   the important thing here is to be able to recognize the potential they carry and be able to face the challenges they bring with them.

It all about grasping the opportunity and making something out of it.

If something or someone gets you out of your comfort zone, take a second look because that my friend can be your next turning point and you may pass on it without even knowing.  

menopause

Are we really different?

As a Hispanic (Puerto Rican mom and middle-aged) woman I represent a number of us out there that truly believe or have been lead to believe that when we hit the middle age mark, its done with, it over!

When menopause comes along hitting our doors loud and clear, our down fall is about to begin.  Or so our moms would tell us!

via google images

All Puerto Rican moms are experts telling their daughters all the bad things in life and the things we can’t carry out, if you don’t believe me ask Jennifer Lopez.

We no longer are capable of functioning as a women (if you know what I mean), we will no longer enjoy a sexually healthy life, and will endure menopause as best we can, but believe me when I tell you that we’re not going down quietly.  We make sure everyone in our household knows what we’re going through.

A phrase that has dawned me always has been, “no sirve ya como mujer”.  Or so to say, no longer is useful as a woman.  So, basically it means that we are useful for what?????

Nevertheless, we’re vocal and voice our womanly problems  so we’re sure EVERYONE knows what we’re going through.

On the other hand, even if we are sharing our troubles around, without knowing it we are bonding with our fellow sisters that also are enduring our pains.

via google images

During this point is when our dear husbands embrace the phrase, “out with the old, in with the new.”  Please, note that I’m talking as part of a huge community of Hispanic women.  It’s sad, but it’s part of a reality of many women out there facing menopause.

With such a large inventory of young women the change is quite easy.

Hispanic women are expected to carry the burden of the household even if they carry the weight of  a demanding job outside the home.  On top of that, once our children leave home we drift like castaways without knowing where to go.

These are only small glimpses of what getting to the middle mark brings on us.

As dreadful as it may seem the big picture here is that as all of this is happening,   “BAM” middle age crisis comes around.  Not middle age alone, but middle age crisis.

Hispanic or not, we do have all something in common.  One simple word probably sums it all up: MENOPAUSE!

Probably what unites us all during this time is finding our voices, so we can bond, helping each other along the way.  Creating a sisterhood where not only Hispanics, but American, African-Americans, Asians, Native Americans and any other ethnic group can relate to each other and find common ground bringing to the table every bit of information that will help us get over this turning point in our lives.

It’s all about sharing our stories, so the bottom line would be,

What’s your story?

Happiness

What The Heck!

Some people make it,  others die trying and miss on the next best thing, living.  I think Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Live as if you were to die tomorrow.  Learn as if you were to  live forever.”  This should at least inspire us along the way.

Anyhow, you think often of life’s unfairness.

What does making it mean anyway?

For some, its getting through college.  For others, it’s finding a job afterwards and making a decent life for themselves.  Now, I’ve complicated things a bit just by writing the word “decent”.

Decent is a relative word, which means roughly that it’s about what you think it is.

via Google Images

Let’s say that I own a used car and my neighbor on the other hand, has a brand new state of the art vehicle.  Here I am as I see him or her come in and out of their home, while I run around doing my errands in a used, no air condition, bad tires, bad paint job, etc. car. How does that make me feel?

I wouldn’t be honest if I’d tell you that I don’t care.

I do care, but what the heck?

The truth be told (well at least the one I can understand) is that some of us are lucky enough to land with the right opportunities.  Many people have the drive, the talent, the skills, but they don’t make it.

“Making it” meaning landing with the things we want from life.

This doesn’t mean that we aren’t going to pursue anything else.  Sometimes that “anything else” is pretty darn good as well. We become the best judges of what we think making it is all about, and the humor to it is that we don’t have a clue on how it feels.

via Google Images/ Jennifer Lopez

Let’s look at celebrities for a second. I’ll chose Jennifer Lopez, basically because she’s Puerto Rican.  Watching her reality show the other day, I discovered a few facts about her.  Nothing to transcendental, yet interesting enough to not change the channel.

She’s extremely rich, beautiful (anyone with that amount of money can be made beautiful), and talented (like so many others). Sorry, for being cynical.

Nevertheless,  I can’t imagine how she can handle the pressure of being looked upon by so many eyes.  Her life is on display 24/7, with a very high price tag called freedom.  Probably it’s worth it, how would I know anyway?

However, it does feel great just once in a while to do whatever you want with no one really caring.

So coming back, to our “anything else”.

If each one of us looks at our particular “anything else” with wide eyes open will be able to find happiness and fulfillment.  Most of us will thank our lucky star because we’re surrounded by people who love and appreciate us and help us get along, learning all we can along the way.  Gandhi surely had his stuff together!!!

You never know maybe our “anything else” is so good that we’ve “made it” without never knowing.