Being honest and straightforward isn’t socially acceptable anymore. Now you’re probably saying that’s bull!!!! I’m honest and straightforward, what’s wrong with you?
Well to be honest to the truth, when someone let’s say maybe a preacher, or your boss, or a friend (not someone you casually know, like for example a Facebook friend type of thing), but maybe the ones you truly don’t want to mess up your relationship kind of thing, or your partner, girlfriend/boyfriend, fiancée, and or wife/husband is saying or doing something you really don’t like, how would you respond to it?
Honesty can backfire and blow right in your face.
Once I had a friend (like the ones I described before), someone I valued and cared for deeply. I chose to be honest with her over a serious issue and basically we couldn’t get over it. Our relationship collapsed, and to the day and probably till the day I die I’ll regret it.
In her case, there was no way honesty could be breached. I was the one who would face the consequences of honesty.
Basically if we want our relationships up and going we can’t do the honesty thing as often as we would like. I’ve known a few couples that when having to talk about some issues that were jeopardizing their relationships, one chose to be completely honest and wham, their relationship became history.
Don’t even go there if you need to address work related issues with your boss, it’s not even worth it. You’ll end up on the wrong side of him/her and probably get a bad yearly evaluation or worst get fired.
The days when you could work things out facing them are long gone.
As icing to the cake, the trend would be to talk it over with another person. Wow, is that bad or what?
Things become even more complicated when that same person, talks to you about it. What do you do? Can you call or meet the person and have a straightforward and honest conversation? Or is that out of the question? Or is it easier to post a comment in your Facebook status that almost nobody knows what it means except you.
I call it the riddle game. You have to try to figure out what’s going on with the person, but really don’t know what it is or who it’s about.
Probably that’s why our relationships have gone sour more too often, is it time for us to recapture them through the healthy channels of honesty. I think it is, do you?
A couple of years ago I held a strong grudge against an old friend and just would not let it go. My oldest son gave me a reality check on how things had gone and why he thought that we both acted against our friendship. We ventured together on a business with different perspectives and never talked about it openly. Bottom line, I lost a dear friend and have carried the guilt of it through out the years.
Over the years many of us get stuck in our own ways. I would love to emphasize the word “stuck” because it means there is no way we’re moving. Stuck as in “quicksand” stuck ! We are up to our knees in it, meaning that change is not an option.
One of my greatest challenges has been learning to listen to my daughter over the years, even though sometimes it’s gone wrong and we’ve end up bickering and mad at each other. Yet we overcome our anger and begin our conversations all over again. It doesn’t matter if we do fight sometimes over things we don’t agree on, but we keep on working on it. The important part is that we listen and try to understand each other.
I consider change to be a miracle because of its cause and effect relationship. Let us say for example if we change our perspectives on things like: homosexuality, we become more tolerant with those that surround us; the homeless, we become proactive in helping them overcome this way of life; and on drug addiction, we may find ways of helping them overcome their addiction.
“The miracle of change lives in all of us, we just to have to discover it.”
This amazing world we live on is always moving, changing, in constant evolution, and I ask myself, why can’t we be the same? I know for a fact that it can be hard because I myself am as stubborn as a mule. Nevertheless, I’m sure that after we take time to listen to the many voices that surround our lives we will be heading towards the right direction, the direction of change.
The same direction that will bring small miracles through our journey through life, that same direction will substitute the what ifs and make them only hows. Instead of handling it down to others, we will begin saying how can I make that happen not only for me, but also for others.
Let’s embrace change as part of our core self because when everything has been said and done, we’ll finally understand that’s what living is all about!
Every once in a while we meet people who are self-centered, selfish, and just plain rude. Even if you would want to (which I don’t) there is no point in trying to disguise the truth of their description. As a matter of fact, there are a couple of more adjectives that could have been employed and were not! When you do come across them, it’s hard not to become infuriated because they just (bottom line) piss you off.
People that have the liability of being to full of themselves don’t realize that we are merely specs in the Universe. Have you ever wondered in awe just gazing up to sky at night? Looking at all those stars, most are not even there anymore. Just amazed that you are alive. Most of all, you just wonder why do we think that we’re the axis of our planet. We are merely tiny spots in a complex and beautiful Universe.
We have so much that we can offer and do for others. We can come together as we collaborate with one another as we build a community where we can all live in peace with one another. Making this a reality requires becoming tuned in with our inner empathy so we can allow ourselves to reach out to others.
“Life is but only a minute in eternity.”
Most relationships today are built upon “need”. I’m not talking about “need” in a good way, but in a way that we usually are seeking something we “need” when calling or getting acquainted with people. I’ve heard more than once the phrase, “they call if they need something”. What a pity! The beauty of society is that we can build something beautiful out of mutual need. This “need” is where mutual companionship, respect, friendship and love are combined together and we have the opportunity to give and receive. Don’t ever doubt that giving is as important as receiving.
Life is but only a minute in eternity. What we do with that minute is up to us. If you’re not sure where you stand, just take a moment and look at the sky during the night. That’s what I do, so I don’t get to full of myself. You may feel amazed of how fast you forget about yourself and think about where we stand in the Universe. So, the next time you stumble upon a rude, selfish, loud and full of himself or herself person just think about the Universe and they wont seem as important anymore.