economic hardship

The infamous… “tu no sabes”

They are many phrases in Spanish that are difficult to translate in English because they literally don’t mean the same things, even if you’re using the correct set of words.

Probably people may wonder why I don’t write in Spanish, basically because nothing flows good enough to jot it down.  It’s a shame, I can’t convey what I want to say in my native language. However, I love my language’s sayings.

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There are dozens of them, and each one has its own meaning.  Better said, depending on what you want to make out of them.  They can mean different things to anyone that says or reads them.

My parents would talk Spanish at home because they actually had a language acquisition theory (who would’ve known) that leaded them to believe that my brother and I would learn English at school.  No kidding?

They were right, at least with me.  My brother doesn’t care much about the language, he speaks it and forget about writing it (or so I think).  Sorry Tom, if I’m saying this and I’m wrong.

Now that being said, I will route myself towards my folklore.   One of my favorite sayings is, “tu no sabes”.  Which literally means in English, “you don’t know”.  So, what does it really mean?

It’s more like a “you don’t have an idea” kind of thing.

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When we’re talking with someone and happen to ask a question, they can tell us,   “tu no sabes”, hold your horses because here it comes!  Its like going behind the curtains during a play.  You are about to get all the inside info of what’s happening, or you may be blessed with sharing a story that is only intended for you.

“Tu no sabes” means you really don’t know the personal circumstances of the person you are talking to.

During our lives there are many things we prefer to keep quiet about.  Things we don’t dare even to think about, forget about talking about.  To all that ever have said, “tu no sabes” my standing ovation goes to you.

Some time ago,  one of my cousins shared a post on FB where she explained to her friends that she suffered a very painful medical condition and that’s why she was so health oriented.  She wanted people to understand!  She could have begun her post with , “ustedes (in plural) no saben.”.

Almost twenty years ago, I went to service on a Sunday morning with my family.  During that time, Carlos was on a waiting list to get a liver transplant and money was always running low in my home.  Basically I went to church trying to figure out a couple of financial problems I was facing.  When I was leaving towards the parking, a deacon called me and told me to come back.  She handed me an envelope with a check for $115.

I began my sentence with “Tu no sabes”, she really didn’t know!  She didn’t have an idea that the money she was handing me was a life saver that week.  It put food on our table and was a beautiful blessing.

Which leads me to the only conclusion possible…………..

Always remember my dear friend,  that everyone has a very private life that he or she may choose or not to share because it is true that “tu no sabes”,  we really don’t know everything about a person and never will.


The Joy of Moving On

Today as I waited for Ian to come out of Sunday School, I talked a while with an outstanding woman who became a widow nine months ago.  Precisely a day like today nine months ago her beloved husband of forty plus years passed away as he enjoyed his Sunday nap.

She told me,

-“Today is one of the those days that I feel I can hold on to my blanket forever.”  With tears in her eyes.

I hugged her without really knowing why because I wasn’t thinking about her husband’s sudden death and I know her on a very superficial level.  Maybe it was because I was the only one there and she needed to get it off her chest,  I really don’t know, but  she continued to say,

-“It’s been precisely nine months since he left.”

I hugged her even more, and replied quietly, “we need to move on you know”.  These were the best words I could find out of the blue, even though it made me feel uncomfortable.

Yet after she nodded and went inside the church, I recollected that they were true.  We do need to move on when facing harsh situations in life.

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She’s living through a situation that will  probably take all her  energy, making  sense and adjusting to a completely new life. She will have to go through the agonies and joys of constructing a new life for herself.    She’s not really alone when she states that she wanted to hold her blanket forever.  Some of us have had to do exactly the same thing.

Some days all of us have felt we can also cling on to our blankets for a lifetime.

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged because I haven’t been feeling myself lately.  I haven’t been well, and even if this is nothing new to me because this is part of having a chronic illness it still hurts the same.  You just have to cling on to the days where you feel you are healthy and hold your part while you’re not feeling so great.

Precisely those are the days where I want to hold on my blanket forever, waiting while the storm passes.

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For each one of us our storms are different.

For me maybe it’s my illness, for others it could be  financial, family or work related issues.   Nevertheless, we also need to apply the same premise, “we need to move on”.

We should learn from nature, to every stormy night a beautiful sunrise will come up no matter what.  All we need to do is uncover our heads and watch its spectacular display and apply it to our own life.

via morgueFile

My dear friend, today will be over and tomorrow will come with its amazing  beauty and you will rise and move on. Maybe with the tingle of pain, but nobody said that life was easy, right?


Following The Rules

Through out my life in some occasions I haven’t followed the rules.  Obviously everybody knows what happens when you don’t follow the rules.  CONSEQUENCES!  Nevertheless, you don’t care enough or you don’t think it over to be able to stop yourself.

Where is this leading us to?

Lately I’ve not followed the rules of people who are labeled with a chronic illness.  You know the ones that tell you what and how to live your life.  Or the one that tells you to always take you meds, because if not something WILL happen.  It’s hard having to take medications every six hours to be able to live a quasi normal life.

Normal would be just living like almost everyone that do whatever they need to do and that’s it.  Not having to hear don’t overdo it, be careful, don’t do this or you can’t do that.  When you turn forty and all of a sudden you lose the liberty of being you, it’s not easy.  I’ve struggled with Myasthenia Gravis for the past seven years and it’s felt like a lifetime.  The hardest blow of them all was when my neurologist told me that I needed to begin considering Social Security Disability Benefits.  I gave up one of the things I love the most, teaching.

Pill Box
via morgueFile

Well you want to know what I did?   I stopped taking my meds.  I began slowly just taking them three times a day, than twice a day, than once a day, and finally I would take them every other day.  I was feeling so great, that it seemed I no longer had Myasthenia.  I was in remission (or that’s what I wanted to believe)!  At the beginning everything seemed fine, so YEAH I am in remission.  I began make plans to go back to school to finish my masters, and then maybe if I was lucky could go a little further to getting my Ph. D in Literature.  Than I would go back to work, all of a sudden in my mind (at least) I was back in school.  Until three days ago, I began feeling (the familiar) strange.

My swallowing began getting worse, and I felt my chest was about to burst.  I knew to well what would be next, the hateful debilitating of my arms and legs.  It would be a matter of days before my symptoms would exacerbate. So, today I called my neurologist because I was in a pretty bad shape.  Making it short, I’m on my meds AGAIN, and to make things a little worse (CONSEQUENCES) I’m back at adrenocortical steroids.  Which make me gain weight and have a handful of consequences.

Tomorrow I have to get on a no salt and low-calorie diet to be able to stay in shape while the storm passes and I can get rid of the steroids once again.  Ahead of me are a couple of super difficult days, but what can I say?  These are the things that happen when we are stubborn enough not to follow the rules and try to believe in fairy tales.