Life

I Want It Now Syndrome

During our lives we have come across situations where basically we become toddlers all over again.

When a child turns two or three they get into a phase where waiting is a royal pain in the butt. However, as “mature and reasonable” adults we also engage in the “I Want It Now Syndrome” now and then.

Recently I’ve had to deal with an issue with my wireless phone company about a situation where one of my devices and lines was blocked due to an error of someone in a technical department. Actually it was placed on a black list of stolen phones!

Never forget for a second the famous Forest Gump saying, “shit happens”.  Believe me once in a while it really does.

From my personal collection.  Taken at Mall of America, MO.
From my personal collection. Taken at Mall of America, MO.

My Forest Gump moment was on a day nobody wants to deal with phone related issues, “Christmas”.  You know, the day when we remember close and far away relatives and we phone them with our  traditional Christmas greetings.

My device from hell.
My device from hell.

Just imagine, you are in the middle of your call all jolly and sounding really excited, saying

“Hi, it’s me (probably they know it’s you because your name is showing up on the screen) I just wanted to say Merry Chris………… ”

While on the other side of the line, whoever it is your calling is getting ready to bam you back with their jolliest when ….. the line goes dead.

The callee (is that a word or what?) is thinking “What the shit???” and tries to call back and a recorded message says,

“The number you are calling has been blocked”.

Probably your relative is saying,

“Wow, just in the middle of the call I lost the conversation, probably she didn’t pay her bill this month.”

Well, fast forwarding if you are getting bored, I engaged in the “I Want It Now Syndrome” with my wireless company.

I didn’t want it resolved in 24, 48, 72  hours, I wanted the situation resolved instantly!

Just think about it I was feeling embarrassed about what people were thinking each time somebody was calling me. I was getting all worked up and I relentlessly told every customer care representative I had to deal with.  (Believe me there were a lot of them from all over the place.)

My wireless company has five centers in Miami, Columbia, Costa Rica, Puerto Rico and  one place I’m totally forgetting about.  Each time one of them would ask me,

“Como se siente en el dia de hoy?”  Which means,  How are you feeling today?  I literally flipped each time.

How the hell do you think I’m feeling, whoa, what a stupid question.  (I was getting meaner by the second).

Today after twenty-one days dealing with all this crap, I stopped looked at my husband and said,

“You know what, it’s okay, we are not going to go there. Things will take care of themselves we just have to look for alternate ways of getting there.”

I realized we are not two or three years old, and even if its worth a tantrum, we have to hold it together and  find solutions for our problems.  Today it’s been my crappy wireless company, tomorrow it will probably be another thing.

So, my dear friends let’s not fall into this terrible syndrome and always believe in ourselves as we try to figure out the shit that happens to us once in a while, and the blessing of living each one of our days in this beautiful blue planet.

“Hasta la próxima, mis amigos.”

 

Parenting

Cojetelo Easy Mom: A philosophy of life

Motherhood!  Just the word can make you freak out a bit.  Some of us (me included) got into parenting without thinking about it too much.  If I would have given it incredible thought (considering the awful background I had as a child myself) maybe I would have said, “No, thank you.”

Today was one of those days that I rejoice in the fact that I did become a mom.

I’ve been a bit of all types of moms in a sense.  I’ve been a stay at home mom, a part-time and full-time working mom and as icing to the cake a home school mom.

My kids were a big part of my career, since I was a teacher (they traveled to school with me) and during summer and Christmas vacation I was home with them.

But, going back to why today is special.

IMG_20130425_152724

Well, I’ll tell you a story about my 21-year-old boy, as a child he had developmental challenges.  His motor skills weren’t developed well enough for him to do well in school.  For some time,  we thought he had dyscalculia and dyslexia.  It wasn’t a pretty picture for a child beginning school.

 

We struggled with him during those early years.

We had the blessings of having a great team of teachers during those first four years in school.  Most of the time I needed to work with him part of his school work at home and then move on to his homework.

I took a part-time job during that time, where I would get off work at one in the afternoon, so I would be home by the time he came from school.

He received occupational and speech therapies up to Third grade.  The worst day would be on Mondays,  where my husband took him to a Learning Center where he would receive two therapies, then have to drive him back to his school (a more than forty minute drive).

It was hard on him and on us.  Since there were no cognitive optometrists in our area, we would travel to San Juan (more than two hours) for him to get his visual therapies every other week.

Then to top it off, I did the follow ups at home.  We would walk each afternoon at least twenty minutes, all our games needed to focus on visual and hand coordination (the game part lost an edge even if I made it sound fun).

He was a grown up fella in a small skinny body, and who said things can’t get worse?

They certainly did when he was diagnosed with Celiac disease.  Now food, one of his joys had to be scrutinized and dealt with.  But that’s another story to tell! I was thrown into becoming a gluten-free mom.

Thank God we made it through.

He learned to deal with his life and make the best of it.

His hardest year in school was when he was in First grade, I will always remember his solemn eyes as I told him,

-You understand we have a problem,  and we can’t hide away from it (it could sound awful for a child so young, but I wanted to be very honest with him).

-You will need to work harder than the rest of the kids in your class and that’s okay.

-Let’s focus on the things you can do well and on your strengths. You’ll have to become a good listener and rely on your memory and not your writing skills,

-Yet I know you’ll pull through because you’re a great kid and we will be with you all the way.

Well, my dear friends we did help him and kept along his side encouraging, sheltering and helping him and  today as I saw him picking up all this stuff from his desk so many years after.

I reminded him,

-Don’t leave anything you may need.

He just looked and said,

-Cojetelo easy Mom, estoy bien.  (Take it easy Mom, I’m okay) A bit in Spanish and a bit in English.

Actually I would think that his relaxed demeanor helped him through out all these years.  He did one thing at a time making his own path along the way.

I felt overwhelmed for a moment, today was the last day of his bachelor’s degree. He finished school with almost a perfect 4.0  GPA and is top of his class.

My heart just felt tight in my chest, I felt so much, pride, joy, and so many memories came back,

When I looked at him for a split second I saw my skimpy little seven-year old who at his very short age accepted his challenges and went face on to tackle them, but with a tight grip on my hand. Making the darn best of it!

So that my dear friends, is what motherhood is all about, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Uncategorized

The Blessing of Unhappiness

I feel sorry for the people who aren’t beautiful, or skinny, or hydrated, or into exercises, or into health food, or with their hair done, wearing designer cloths or  don’t  have their kids  in private schools, or  have great houses, or have  new cars, or have great jobs, etc. etc.  I can probably go on forever because the list seems to be endless.  Those of us who have a couple of these things, but don’t have them all strive in getting the ones we’re missing because unless you have a check mark in all of them you are a complete loser.

file7531265564079
photo credit via morgueFile

Now, some of you who read my blogs are going to think what happened with the lady that crusades for those who are hungry, for immigrants, for social justice and above all for change?   Did she see one of those  aliens she talks about sometimes and some secret government officials (like those we saw in Men in Black) erase her memory?

Let me soothe  your troubled minds, it’s still me!  Now comes the twist to it…..it amazes me how obsessed we are with so many things! Do we need to be or have all of these things to be happy?  If so, what do you think  happiness is all about?

Some of us aren’t as lucky to be able to acquire all of these fancy things, so maybe we are unhappy.  So unhappy that we can appreciate the beauty of each sunrise and reflect on the wonder of sunset, so unhappy we can rejoice in the company of our children (even if we can’t afford to send them to a prep school and have to take the trouble of homeschooling them), so unhappy that we need to cook our own meals and share them together,  instead of eating out all the time, so unhappy we can’t wear the colors designer clothes are launching for the season, because we or our husbands don’t have high paying jobs (which usually come with demanding schedules and stress lead lives), so unhappy we can only afford having our same furniture that hold precious memories from our children’s first years than changing it every other year,  so unhappy we can have long conversations with our now grown up kids about life, love and the choices they make and not about what nail color is best to wear or diet to follow or any other silly (to not say stupid) thing that can cross our minds.  When you think about it,  than unhappiness is a blessing.

DSCN6895
photo credit: Melissa Reyes Segarra

In life everything is about balance!  We can’t always being pursuing perfection in how we look, as neither we can always be pounding our heads against the wall because sometimes life just sucks.  It’s about being happy with ourselves.  Happiness and peace aren’t things we can have because someone gives it to us, theses are things we need to look for within our own souls.  It isn’t easy to nestle them inside you and it can take some time as we seek them.  For some it will be spirituality, faith, their nirvana, or whatever you may call it. Nevertheless, the important thing is that we’re working at it.

I stumbled upon all the requirements of happiness in a gathering I hosted  on Mother’s Day weekend.  I was blasted away with the majority of the conversations that we’re going around.  Everyone there seemed to be only worried about how they and people they know looked!

The climax of the afternoon was when someone told one of my cousins who was visiting from New Jersey as she walked in was, “You’re a little fatter than the last time you were around.” Wow!  I think she looks amazing, she’s not the bare bones type, but nevertheless she’s a beauty. That’s only her outer beauty, because her inner beauty is even more breathtaking.   What a upsetting thing to point out to a person you haven’t seen for a while, and the worst part is that  people who say  these types of things get away with it.

“…find your own recipe for happiness and live up to it!”

Don’t think for a minute I’m the hero here because I’m not.  Some time ago, I would’ve been doing and talking about the same things they were.  I was as obsessed as they are about being skinny, clothes, nail polish, etc. etc.  What changed me?  I would probably say that I took a hard look at myself this past Christmas and came to the conclusion that I needed to change a couple of things, but overall my life was great.  All I needed to do was appreciate what I had!

Thank God life is dynamic, we are always changing and for those who don’t have the capacity of change is for who I really feel sorry for.  Remember we are and always will be a work in progress.  Life is more than what we have or look like, it’s all about being able to wake up in the morning and discovering what the day has to offer you through its ups and downs.  Don’t let others dictate how you’re suppose to live, that’s your job.  Last, but not least find your own recipe for happiness and live up to it because if you don’t know yourself, who does?