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Dear readers, the other night I sat in front of my television checking out Netflix’s new  additions.  I stumbled on Eat, Love and Pray.

And I watched it again.  The  first  time I watched this movie was on Thanksgiving Day eight years ago.

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photo credit via Morguefile

I barely understood it on that occasion, I dragged  through what I thought  was a very boring movie.  I totally didn’t get the point of the story at all.  I obliged myself because I  had picked it up at the “video  store” to  do something  after our dinner.  I  had family and friends over, but only one of  my younger cousins and myself went through  the motions.  We were both Julia Robert’s fans and we pulled through  out  of our loyalty to her or at least for me, that’s how it worked.

To tell you the story in a nutshell, I’ve been on my own version of Eat, Pray and Love.

Your journey for discovery can only be began and finished with  one person and that my dear friends is you and me only.

I had no understanding of these millennial spiritual traditions, so that added up to my disconnect the first time around.  A fore night before I was  deeply invested in Elizabeth’s pain and joy trying to figure out my own.

This is my own version of this great story.

Now a days,  I try to  remain still and become aware of God’s presence in my life. I no longer feel the need to introduce myself to him. He knows who I am, he’s been with me always.  His calm and gentle voice has protected and guided me through out so much.  In 2011 my life was beginning to fall apart after my diagnosis and I felt vulnerable and lost.

Feeling the presence of a still higher power uplifted me through very difficult times.

Today I don’t pray in a structured or modeled way, but just with the words in my heart. I don’t care much if they sound right for others and make sure they are honest and right for me.  Praying for me is the very first step.

It’s probably the hardest because I need to  recognize that I am in trouble with myself.  Recognizing this is hard, almost unbearable.

Love is a locked gift in our souls waiting  to be set free. It entails plenty a work on our part to keep it  going.

Lately I like to go by this prayer for friendship written with so much love and insight by, Christopher Titmuss.

“May my mother and father live in peace and harmony.

May my brothers and sisters live in peace and harmony.

May my friends and neighbors live in peace and harmony.

May the friendly, strangers and unfriendly live in peace and harmony.

May I live in peace and harmony.

May my words and actions contribute to the happiness and welfare to others.

May the power of my friendship transform difficult situations.

May all living beings live in peace and harmony.”

And the eating part, I love my food! Nowadays I don’t let guilt ruin it for me.  I try to eat feeling gratitude for all that goes into it.  When I drink my fruit beverage I delight myself in thinking that my papayas grow in my mom’s trees with any other fruit I’m lucky enough to enjoy.  And I apply this principle to all that I eat.

I love my cake and when I get the blessing of eating a slice of one (like I’m about to) I savor the moment not worrying to much about calories or so and so.  I used to beat myself the morning after if I indulged the prior night, I do that no  more! Yesterday is gone and the only good about it is thinking about the happiness we  experienced during that brief moment yesterday brought.

You know I’m still a work in  progress.  Always trying to balance off my life! However just like Ketut told Elizabeth, “sometimes to be in balance we need to unbalance our lives”.

So my friends what better way to end this post then with a quote from the book,

“Devotion is diligence without assurance. Faith is a way of saying “Yes, I pre-accept the terms of the universe and I embrace in advance what I am presently incapable of understanding.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Be kind to your self and listen to your heart  with deep compassion.  Hasta pronto!