I’ve had a lot going on in my life lately.
For starters, I’m in the hassle of loosing some weight I put on because of my Prednisone therapy for the last eight months. If you think body image is only for teenagers, just let me tell you “You are absolutely and completely wrong!”.
Body image returns to haunt you in middle age. Don’t anyone fool you steering you to believe the contrary.
So, pumping my weak muscle with enough adrenalin to the sound of Phil Collin’s Circle of Life and so many other of my favorite Disney Motion tracks I’ve been walking from forty-five to an hour at least four times a week.
Finally my children seem to be steering away from home each getting on with their thing. I have all sorts of cross feelings about this. I want them to leave, but at the same time I just want them to stay and need me.
My youngest child is going away to Graduate School this January and my twenty-three year old is finishing his degree in Biotechnology this June.
As 2015 comes reeling in my nest will be definitely quieter in a sense.
Am I ready for those changes?
I really don’t know and you know what, it’s okay to feel this way.
As we puddle through these middle years it’s all about discovery, we’re getting to know ourselves all over again. Most of us who have stayed married, are facing marriage with the same people, but at the same time with completely new people. Our life long partners have evolved, morphing into a completely new person. WE no longer hold the same views or share the same things we both liked at the beginning. The best part is that
we don’t give a damn about it and as a bonus we are completely honest with each other, or at least should be at this point.
Which leads me to think about my twin aunts. Both of them will be seventy-five this next January 1st. They don’t lead empty lives and just go for it each day never forgetting the gift of life with each emerging sunrise.
Why should I take less? Why should anyone of us should?
All around us life is happening and that’s marvelous. The only thing I and everybody else needs to do is grasp it , and stop being afraid of our own shadow.
On top of everything else we’ve dealt with so much the past eleven months.
2014 has just been hard to live through. It’s carried so much pain, I lost a man that was a father for me to cancer, my Myasthenia Gravis has taken a lead role in my life, taking over who I am at my expense, saw my mother in law just shrink before my eyes literally, watched my daughter stumble upon her first serious relationship (she moved in with her boyfriend) that was a shocker, and went through the excruciating process of going back to school myself.
I’ve had some rainbows along the way. My brother finally retired after serving more than thirty years in the US Army. My more than thirty year marriage stood strong when hurricane force winds came to blow it away. We were able to stand next to each other and talk through some pretty hard things.
So, you see “mis queridos amigos” some years are just like this and we just have to handle it the best we can , and keep on moving forward.
See you around the corner and never stop believing in yourself or the good of life.