It’s nothing new that our life is made up of many elements that keep us in balance.
When any of those elements gets messed up, your life does as well.
A large part of our life is being healthy. Usually people don’t give their health a second thought until something disrupts it. I should know because I was one of them. People take health for granted and go on with their lives jumping here and there without anything really bothering them then the normal nuisances healthy people usually have.
Does this make me a bit bitter? Maybe.
It bothers me a bit more perhaps because I did the same blasted thing. Being healthy was never my number one priority and it dawns at me now and then. However, the truth is that even if I would have been oriented towards a healthy lifestyle my illness would have appeared none the less.
One of the things I hate the most of having Myasthenia Gravis is that my life is put upside down in a split second. A small thing can escalate and everything I’ve accomplished goes down hill. It’s frustrating and above all it leaves you feeling vulnerable and weak.
I could have been one of the lucky people who got out of the hospital after receiving Immunoglobulin for five days and just be fine. But, it’s not gonna happen!!! I’m one of the few that gets a headache from hell, a throbbing pain each time I move I want to screm.
What can I do about it?????
The answer is quite simple, NOTHING!!!
What probably makes things worse is that you depend on others. Personally I hate depending on others for life’s basics. Each time this happens you lose something inside you. Many would tell me,
“Oh, you’re so blessed you have a family that loves and takes care of you.” patronizing me a bit as they say it.
Another one they throw at me, all the time,
“You have to take care of yourself.” as if they were experts on Myasthenia.
As if they only knew that nothing I can do can prevent whatever exacerbation I may experience. I fight against an impossible enemy, my immune system takes life by itself and can act up or down at its own will.
Nevertheless, I am grateful for my spouse, daughter, sons and my parents.
That I’d prefer not putting them through all this crap, YES. They are also left feeling insecure and unsettled because after eight years they already know the ropes. Except for my parents that I tend to leave them in the dark unless I end up needing their care.
They get really upset and it’s not fair for them. I’ll rather protect them every other day.
Going back to the balance in our lives, the great thing about it is that we can shift all the things that keep us in balance and make it new. Shifting things around till they make sense.
We can’t control most of the elements that keep us in check, but sure can control how we feel about them and rearrange them at our will.
At least, we can take back some of the good in our lives and make the best we can out of it.
Sometimes our circumstances change and nothing we can do is going to prevent that, but we can try to cope with what we have. Even if I’m feeling lousy and sick as a dog, I’m going to have to repeat my mantra,
“Things are going to get better.”
Even if it bothers the hell out of me that I no longer am as healthy as everybody else around me. I’ll have to suck it up and make the best of it.
Even if I hate feeling vulnerable and dependent, I’ll have to accept graciously my blessings because some of us don’t have anyone to help them even if they can’t take care of themselves.
So you see my dear friends, life has its potholes. The good thing about these is that they are easily repaired leaving the roads once again smooth to ride. It’s all about waiting for the crew to make things better, because ultimately that’s what life is all about.