Has your memory ever played a trick on you?
Most people would say that during one moment or the other it has.
Along the way we’ll give a shot to remaking some of them, just to be able to bear with them.
I’ve always been a strong believer that the past should never be dwelled on basically because whatever it is, its done and nothing we say or do will change the facts of the story, or as my husband repeats, “de nada sirve llorar sobre leche derramada”. In other words, crying over spilt milk is useless.
I’m not sure where this popular saying comes from but, my grandparents and my husband’s were from the same generation and they loved this particular one. They always would remind us that it doesn’t matter how tragic or frivolous, events could not be changed, and if you didn’t do anything then, it was useless to complain or talk about it later.
So you could say that my philosophy of “let the past stay in the past and lets look into now and, not even too much into tomorrow, was born somewhere between my late childhood and early tweens. At a very early age I knew that some things were better off not remembered or spoken about.
They sure knew how to toughen you up a bit, don’t you think? However, who could blame them they had to survive in a very hard terrain and their life philosophy had a “no nonsense” approach. Even though I’m not saying they were handling things the right way, it was simply a matter of “things are what they are”.
I’m sure not everyone is tuned in with me in this particular point because some of us love to live stuck in the past. Some are so into it that posting old pictures is their everyday motto and just love to take the ride down Memory Lane. Now, now don’t get me wrong I cherish and value my life’s momentum and memories, but I’m not sure I want to go there sometimes (specially during my childhood).
So my point exactly would be that I’ve never been strong at remaking my memories basically because I don’t deal with them.
Sometimes I read things my one and only brother writes about and I want to kick myself because I simply don’t or can’t remember.
None the less, is it really worth remembering?
I know this to be true because I’ve basically blocked out the time my husband waited for his liver transplant. We waited for two very long years. To the point that my children really never knew what happened until very recently when I began telling them anecdotes of how things happened that June 5 almost nineteen years ago. Without intention I simply chose never to speak about it, not because I didn’t want to share with them our experiences but, because it was too painful.
I guess my mind erased most of my memories because it was trying to protect me.
As parents we are responsible for those first memories are children carry into their adult lives. The sad part is that we don’t even know it sometimes.
Going back and forth trying to make a point or not make it for all its worth isn’t really going to change the facts or the past. We are what we are and part of it has to do with how we deal with our past and face our today. We can stay stuck there forever or move on but, at the end it’s going to depend on us.
Reliving our past over and over again is consuming and believe me its bound to get a hold of our today. “Nothing and I say nothing”, like the rooster from the Looney Tunes says, is worth compromising our today.
If you are constantly finding joy in yesterday you’ll miss on today’s happiness.
If your dwelling on yesterday’s misfortune you’ll miss today’s opportunities.
If you are trying to make sense of today using your past, you’ll miss on new experiences of learning.
So you see my dear friends, “de que sirve llorar sobre leche derramada” let the past stay where it belongs and live today’s moments with your eyes and heart open, cherish whatever good you find and move on without regret or remorse, because that’s what living is all about.