One of the many promises we make throughout our lives is being faithful to someone. It’s not obliged, a promise is something we give freely.
Faithful…. meaning believing, hoping and then having the assurance that nobody will ever take the unique place you have given your wife or husband in your life.
Fast forwarding, how do you keep that promise when relationships go through the wear and tear they eventually do, and our vows are nested in the back of our heads and hearts.
Forgetting the perfect gift we gave freely, our faithfulness.
By the way, I’ve always been faithful.
Not one single moment in the past thirty years I’ve been in a relationship with my today husband (to which I’ve been married for more than 25 years). I’ve never deviated, never felt the necessity, urge or temptation.
Now is when you say, “You have to be f*&^ing kidding me!”.
To go on, “Sure you have, be real, you probably have wanted to screw someone along the way.”
Well, “mis amigos” I haven’t.
I gave my promise freely and my husband has treasured it like no other thing in his life. I appreciate my faithfulness and his own much more when I have listened to any story someone can tell me about a cheating wife or husband. All I do afterwards, is just give him a big hug and cascade him with kisses.
Even the word sounds nasty, “cheating”.
I’m not sure what the secret is.
It could be that we have always been openly honest, knowing that along the way of our lives, there could come a time when the urge or temptation made an ugly entrance. We made a pact that if it would come along, we would immediately let the other one know. Being unfaithful is so easy, it’s more comfortable than facing the fact that you no longer want or love the other person, but are too lazy to put a stop to it all.
For some it can be named, mortgage, joint properties or business, their family image, reputation, even losing neighbors who became life long friends, families, and so many other things.
As for tomorrow, you never know we could become the lazy ones, but I honestly hope to God that we don’t do that to ourselves ever.
It’s so sad picturing my husband in a dual relationship with another person. It would break my heart, not knowing if I would ever recover from an event like that.
Is is hard to keep what we give freely, sure it is.
Basically because we change many times throughout our life span and we forget to adjust our promises to our today.
Faithfulness, is not only a promise, but a precious gift we freely give.
Let’s be careful never to forget to keep our promises and like my grandma used to say, “lo que se da, no se quita”, which means what we give freely should never be taken back.
Easy, in the moment we share with our partners what’s going on, without being unfaithful, even if the relationship is beyond repair we have kept our promise of assuring the unique place of that other person in our hearts if not forever in our lives. Probably, it would hurt real bad at the beginning, but with the passing of time it will hurt less. That’s how I would like it to be anyway.
So you see my dear friends, life isn’t perfect, but just don’t forget that standing by what we believe in has its perks. One of my favorite’s is peace of mind.
One of my favorite categories to blog about is happiness.
I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t want to feel happy or at least content with what they have in their lives.
Nevertheless, happiness is an elusive thing. You never know when or where it can show up.
Happiness has a few tweaks about it, probably the most important of them all is that the only person who can give you happiness is yourself.
To blog about happiness I don’t have to become an expert on the subject (thank God), but can pull up from my life experiences.
First, and far most you need to know what does “happy” mean for you. For instance, and basically to answer my question, happy means feeling right. Not knowing, but feeling, why???? Happiness isn’t related with knowledge, you don’t know you’re happy, you have to feel it.
Happy is smiling, not fretting during at least a second in time, feeling content, wanting to embrace someone or yourself, laughing, shouting in joy, bursting, peaceful with all and everything around you or just tuning yourself with yourself being just you in sheer bliss.
The obliged question, why is it so hard to find “happy”?
In our “generic” world nobody has time to think about things and give ourselves the inner eye look. That’s the kind of look that hides nothing because I know deep inside that it’s hard to hide my feeling from myself. I may trick someone and hide what I don’t want to showcase, but I can’t hide away from myself.
In a world known for its dishonesty, it’s become relatively easy to become dishonest with one self. Today is a great day to stop all that nonsense and give ourselves the inner eye look.
It’s a great start for sure!
People don’t blog much about happiness or the pursuit of it by the way, they prefer darker topics. Many like to hear about all that is wrong in our world (not necessarily how to fix it though) and so many soul-searching methods that we can find along the trail of life. It’s much easier going down the side lines.
Even though I’m writing about it today, I can’t give you the magic formula to get it, just can’t. This is a YOU kind of thing!
Don’t give me the cynic “not all days are happy ones”, life sucks most of the time. Nevertheless, even in our darkest hours we can make it our mission to find something in our lives that is good.
Today my happy is just being able to get out of my bed, make great use of my legs (they were able to carry me where I needed to go) and taking a deep breath and my lungs just felt right. You can say,
-Is this woman nuts? What does any of that do with happiness?
Well, I’ll let you on a little “secret”, people who suffer from Myasthenia Gravis can’t take any of my “happy” today for granted. Every other day we may not make it out of bed and our lungs shut down. So you see, today I have been utterly HAPPY!
I don’t know what my happy will be tomorrow, but at least today was all good. Even though I found a few bumps along the way.
So you see, my dear “amigos” it’s as easy as finding your own “happy” today and don’t worry too much about tomorrow because we really don’t know if we’ll be around anyway. Just concentrate on today and all will be well and if it’s not then, “damn it” give it your best try!
It seems that 2014 started with a bumpy road in relation with my Myasthenia. With two relapses in less than a month.
All I can see is the independence I’ve worked so hard on getting is slipping through my fingers. Already my husband and children are fretting and over protecting me. Up to this point, I’m not such a huge fan when things begin getting to this point.
Please, don’t call me ungrateful, but I’ve always valued my independence to a degree of insanity and its hard trying to cope with everyone telling me “don’t do a thing”.
All the fussing extends to my parents that to the least get a bit overwhelmed because they really don’t know how to deal with it.
This post began on a note of frustration, but moved quickly to vulnerability. Erasing most of what I had written yesterday to bring it up to date after visiting my pneumologist and neurologist.
With a day of difference.
As my pneumologist checked me and basically went over my new meds and called my neurologist over the phone in front of me, I felt good. He then put the oximeter on my finger and held it for a while. You know with all that’s going on in today’s world doctors can not engage in patting, hugging or anything else because it’s considered inappropriate. But, as he took my hand to check my oxygen levels he lingered there a while, just comforting me, making sure I knew things were going to be fine.
He’s been seeing me for some time now, as well as my neurologist.
He assured me that my Myasthenia was acting up and that things would settle down again. without forgetting to add as I left his office to not step outside in the waiting room, because I really didn’t need the flu now.
As a matter of fact, I knew that the clock had begun its countdown to shut down, so I embraced myself for the worst. Which by the way made itself over in just hours. However, this time around things weren’t so gloomy.
His job was to make sure that I had the right medications to protect the weakness of my lungs, but also the warmth and care that accompanied me as I left the office made me feel better. The thing is he always gives me a check up when any cold I suffer complicates itself because of my MG where is I’m in and out of his office in no time, this is the first time my check up was about something else and he took the time to not only be careful, but caring as well. As he said,
“It’s the myasthenia.”
Even if he said in a kind of matter of fact way, it was full of compassion with shades of feeling sorry for me. I didn’t feel bad because underneath it all there was an underlying care involved as well.
Fast forwarding, my dear neurologist (don’t know where I’d be without him), saw me today and went on with his business as usual. He usually prioritizes on getting me up and going, he said his goodbyes with REST and CALL ME.
As I left his office, I turned and squeezed his arm in a gesture of appreciation.
I didn’t mind too much about the rest part, but the call me means a great deal to me and my family. We know we can rely on him to get things going.
Which takes me to the inevitable goodbye to my independence, even if it’s for a couple of days, and hello to pampering and television weighing the storm over my head even if it’s short-lived.
I’m grateful for my family and my medical team, although MG is a hassle that strikes in the middle of the night without a knock, but at least I have wonderful people in my life that make things so much better.
So you see “mis queridos amigos” once in a while healthcare providers live up to the once forgotten pedestal of being the healers of the tribe.