Those of you who have been in long-term relationships know that those first five years were crucial.
It took tremendous ability to learn to cope and move forward.
You were trying to find common ground in so many things, trying to build a rock solid foundation for what would become your “until death do us apart” kind of marriage or relationship.
If you’ve made that sort of commitment and you’ve been a couple of decades down that road, would you think you STILL need to learn to cope?
Well, surprise, surprise (at least for me) to the answer on that one.
Yes, coping will become an issue once more during our middle years.
I’ve learned recently with all the things happening to my family, the loss of a loved one, caring for the other one (trying to fill in the void), dealing with my own parents, and trying to build strong relationships with my already grown children can make coping difficult.
The funny thing is that even if you love all the people around you, it can take a toll on marriage. It’s so easy to fall in the pit of not communicating how we feel. Not stating how overwhelming everything seems. It’s harder than raising young children during those first years of marriage.
Recently I celebrated my 26th wedding anniversary, I would have loved it if my husband would have gifted me his day. Nevertheless, it wouldn’t have resolved my coping issues. On the other hand, just for the sake of a good debate at least it would have provided us with a great opportunity of talking. Not about other people, but about ourselves and our relationship.
Some think because you’ve been married for a long time or their best friend (like I did) will be the equivalent for a successful marriage or relationship. I don’t think so, even though I might have some time ago.
Even relationships that have endured many rocky roads can get into deep trouble if we oversee issues that are affecting who we are and how we feel.
I’m not even sure where I’m going with this, if it’s all about letting some steam out, or doing some soul-searching through my blog, or just talking to myself and anyone out there who wants to share a thought or two.
One thing is sure, I need to come to terms with myself and with those I love dearly.
My grandfather was totally right when he repeated the Proverb, “there are times we cry and there are times we laugh”, enjoy whatever life gives you because times are always changing.
So you see “mis queridos amigos” the hardest part is accepting and coping with these changes and accepting who we are along the way.