Finally we were in Miami. My memories of our flight are a distant blur because the sense that everything I was living was surreal, just lingered on. I sat very close to the cockpit and when we were close or over Cuba they pointed it out.
The ambulance rushed us to Jackson Memorial Hospital, in what seemed seconds Carlos was being prepped to go into surgery. What I didn’t realize was that not only he was being prepped, but simultaneously two more patients. One that would receive a pancreas and a kidney right there, and another in Atlanta waiting for the lungs and the heart.
During all that time, I focused only on Carlos never thinking a bit more. I didn’t even think about the aftermath of it all. The drive that would make my dream a reality was just getting him there, where we were. I had to pinch myself to believe it. My only one big paralyzing fear was that something would prevent him from receiving that precious organ, his new liver.
After all the signatures, the obliged medical forms we were ready finally ready! Both of us, he was ready to receive his liver and I was ready to let him go. I had taken him where he was and just for a moment I savored it all.
They let me into a room, where patients were rolled into a hall that took them to surgery. Actually I saw a doctor come out with a red ice box (like the ones you take to the beach) and someone said, there goes the heart and the lungs. A patient is waiting for them in Atlanta.
He got his first happy shot, and I was asked to leave. His coordinator would keep me informed throughout the surgery in a big waiting room close to the front door. I felt so overwhelmed that I simply told him that I loved him and that I would see him in recovery.
After those doors closed, I felt lost for a brief moment. We had made it! There was only one thing that was bothering me, I really hadn’t considered what would be happening after. Probably because deep inside I was always scared of not making it up to here.
Finally, after a very long wait, some doctors came to see me. Carlos was doing as good as they could expect. His surgery had gone fine, and he was in the ICU, his coordinator would come to speak to me later about when I could see him and all the other things I would need to know.
I called home and told everyone that up to the moment, everything was good to go. I drowned the voice in my head that whispered, “Now what?”
I knew that we were about to begin a new chapter in our lives.
One that I really hadn’t planned around, but this time I looked down the road I began dreaming of making a life with the man I had just married five years ago. I could begin dreaming once more of getting old with him and enjoying shared memories of raising a family.
Finally, I would get a shot of knowing what dreams were made of.