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I’m telling you if you think when you turn forty is bad, just wait until those fifties come around the corner.  The first subject in order is “How do I look for fifty?”.  What a question is that?  Yet, that’s the one you always get, people (including myself) want to know how others see us when we’re fifty.  What everyone wants to listen to is “You look great.”, but be careful because a wrong answer would be, “You look great for fifty.”.  That last answer can be tricky because it’s acknowledging that you look like your fifty, but you look fine because despite that you are fifty.  Getting the picture here?  These are murky waters to travel through, so beware of how you answer.

Your forties, fifties, sixties, seventies…… are just points in our lives.  We don’t have to go through the trouble of having to masquerade our birthdays with disguises and semi or formal gowns or tuxedos to rise to the occasion.  On the web we can find thousands of articles about self-improvement and how to’s, but it’s not about trying to follow everything we read (if we try we’ll go bananas).

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Be genuine.

Be yourself.

Be giving.

Be truthful.

Be this.

Be that.

To which my answer is don’t be anything, except  who you want to be.  Change is hard, and it becomes even harder if you have set for yourself these silly expectations.  Why do we have expectations anyhow?  I always dread when my mother in law or my mom gives me a surprise visit (you know the ones they just pop up at your house), it’s always a done deal that “that specific day” my house will be a mess!

photo credit: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/787208-pro-wrestling-3-reasons-why-my-mom-hates-wrestling

I always think “Gee, why didn’t they come yesterday or the day before or tomorrow, when all my s^%$t is put together?”  They will look casually around (it’s not that their doing it on purpose you know), and if you’re following their eyes you’ll see unfolded laundry in a basket, a couple of dishes in the sink, a little this over there, a little that a bit farther, a made, but wrinkled bed (like the one you’ve been lying down on, when you’re not suppose to, etc. etc.).  This is kind of a cultural thing, we are taught that are houses need to be tidy and our chores need to be done early in the morning because the afternoons are for resting and doing other things.  Mom thinks that should be set in stone!

What’s the point here?

We can’t always make everyone happy, no matter how hard we try.  We can’t pretend to have everything in check even if we want to. We can’t follow the examples or the teachings of our own parents throughout our lives in a hundred percent, imagine trying to do it with other people.

Self-improvement is a trend these days, and everyone wants a piece of the cake.  But the truth is that it’s been around for a while now.  What do you think that Ben Franklin did at the end of each day?  If he would have lived during our times probably he would have ended up being an Amway inspirational guru.   You know the guys who talk to you about how you can do anything you want because you have the power.  But what you really don’t know is that the people who are paying him or her are the ones getting all those points with your purchases a/k/a your dreams.

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Bottom line, our life can’t be a masquerade where we set our mask over our realities.  I usually read (not all of them, because this blogger posts like every ten seconds something new) called Harsh Realities, some are true others I’m not so sure.  Nevertheless, facing what our lives are or have become is better than trying to disguise it in something it’s not.

It’s not about following, it’s about getting your act together and finding out what works for you (and me obviously).  It’s not how I look, it’s about what I need to do to look great not at the outside (though it doesn’t hurt to look good), but in the inside.  Let’s hide our masks and embrace whatever we our and decline the invitation for attending the next masquerade, casual gatherings are so much better!  Ta Ta!